Good News Bad News

Good news:  Downstairs neighbor took proactive step towards easing her dog‘s separation anxiety by getting another dog to be his companion.

Bad news:  New dog companion also has separation anxiety and its screechy wails are even more painful to listen to than original dog’s barking and howling.

Good news:  Finally got  manuscript back with editor’s comments.  Editor’s comments were very positive and got me geared up to tackle the rewrite.  Dove in head first with enthusiasm.

Bad news:  Realized I have no idea how to do a rewrite.  Spent hours every day this week putting in and taking out commas and replacing adjectives with better adjectives (then deleting the adjectives altogether).  Very lost.  Head hurts.

Good news:  Sammi and Ronnie are no longer fighting.

Bad news:  No longer see the point of Sammi and Ronnie’s presence in the Jersey Shore house if they are not trying to kill each other.  Cannot quite figure out the meaning of their existence in this new context.  Am having a weird 3rd person existential dilemma about it.  Am  hoping Ronnie will have a bout of ‘roid rage soon and “dog” Sammi, so that their reality t.v. existence can once again be justified.

Good news:  Finally got myself to do the thing I dread most — check my mailbox.

Bad news:  Upon opening mailbox, several weeks of piled up junk mail leaped out at me like a jack-in-the-mailbox.  Mail bounced off of my frozen-in-shock face and scattered all over floor of entryway.  Had to make two trips to get all the mail to my apartment.  After throwing away the dozen Victoria’s Secret catalogues, the – Bed Bath & Beyond catalogues, and all the mail addressed to the previous tenant of my unit, still ended up with a tall pile of mail to sort through.  Pile of unopened mail currently sitting on edge of desk, staring at me whenever I enter the room.  Think maybe the mail hates me as much as I hate it.

Good news:  Think the serial killer who lives upstairs has given up his murderous ways.  (No moans or screams for almost a week now.)

Bad news:  Think the serial killer who lives upstairs has taken up late-night carpentry as a hobby instead.

Good news:  Only spent $2 on lottery tickets this week.

Bad news:  Did not win the lottery.

That about wraps up this session of “Good News Bad News.”  Until next time…

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Mission: Procrastination

It’s 2 p.m.  Been up since 7:30 a.m.  Wow – that’s a lot of awake-hours already.  What have I accomplished today?

Should first temper rising guilt and anxiety due to suspicion that I have not been as productive as I could have been by reducing number of Awake-hours by number of Not-Writing-But-Doing-Other-Necessary-Essential-Tasks-Of-Daily-Living-hours:

Total Awake-hours = 6.5

Breakdown of Total NWBDONETODL-hours =

(Drank 3 cups of coffee to wake up while watching a re-run of Jersey Shore –> 0.75 hours (did not watch the full episode cuz had seen it before and already knew the ending))

+ (Took dogs out –> 0.25 hours)

+ (Fed dogs –> 0.03 hours)

+ (Calculated the decimal portion of an hour for the 2 minutes it took me to feed the dogs –> 0.03 hours)

+ (Caught up with friend on IM –> 1.0 hours (mostly talked about various revenge scenes for men who had scorned us in the past, but part of discussion was about book project, so only fair to deduct that portion from this total and add it to the productive-time total) –> 0.75 hours)

+ (Finished episode of Jersey Shore, as it was a good one and I needed a chuckle to ease bitterness roused by discussion about bad boyfriends who deserved being revenged-upon –> 0.25 hours)

+ (Sat down to write.  In need of inspiration, looked outside window.  Trusty writer‘s manual says: “Nature = Inspiration.”  Noticed it was snowing.  Checked forecast to see if there will be 2 or more inches of snow, in which case I’d need to move my car to another street.  Weatherman on local news channel said “1-2 inches of snow accumulation.”  Which one will it be, weatherman??  ONE or TWO?  Do i need to move my car or not?   Just tell me and stop with your coy estimation game!  Mentally added local news weatherman to list of people to portray in unflattering parody in book.  Mental note reminded me that I should be writing my book.  Sat down to write, but then heard what sounded like snow plows outside and got paranoid.  Ran outside to see if car was still in its spot, fearing it had been towed, and prepared to throw self in tow truck’s path to prevent $250 tow fee.  Car still there – phew!  Ran back inside.  But now cold, and bottom of pants are wet.  Changed pants.  Probably shouldn’t be in my pajamas at 2 p.m. anyway, but isn’t that supposed to be one of the great perks of being a writer?  Sneezed twice in a row.  Will probably catch pneumonia now.  Mentally added local news weatherman to list of men to victimize in scorned-woman-revenge scene for forcing me to wear day clothes despite my writer’s-right to wear p.j.’s while I work, not to mention causing my imminent death due to pneumonia –> 0.5 hours)

+ (Searched various job sites for jobs to apply to in case this writing thing doesn’t work out –> 1.5 hours) Continue reading