Writer’s Block

Have a theory about that state of mind in which a writer is at a total loss for words, when her characters seem to have all conspired to take a simultaneous vow of silence, when the pen opts out of forming useful words for drawing useless doodles around the edges of the page — that horrible condition called WRITER’S BLOCK.

Before my first real experience with writer’s block, I had assumed that the term referred to a sort of mental barrier that makes it harder for writers to say what they’re trying to say on the page.  However, having grappled with the demon of all demons that is writer’s block several times now, I am convinced that my former assumption was wrong.

In fact, it is called “writer’s block” because it makes you wish for a big block against which to hit your head until the words tumble out of your ear, or until you’ve lost consciousness — whichever comes fist.

As you’ve probably guessed, I’m in the midst of a bout with writer’s block.  Since the big block I ordered off Amazon has yet to be delivered (struggling writer status required “Free Super-Saver Shipping” option), I am forced to try other methods to exorcise this word-eating demon. Continue reading

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Journaling

Have started keeping journals, as have been told all good writers should.  Have attempted to keep journals since college but usually only got as far as buying a journal book every year or so.  Now have an embarrassingly large collection of journal books, most of which are entirely blank.

Now that I’m determined to be a writer, made my usual New Year’s resolution to keep a journal (except this year, I’m really gonna do it. Swear to God.)

Decided to make up for lost journaling time by keeping several journals at once: 1) a One-Line-A-Day journal where I sum up the day in one line, 2) a regular journal where I write about the day at length, 3) and a sketch diary where I record the day’s impressions, emotions, events, etc. by way of illustration.  I thought: Huzzah – on my way to be the best journaling-ist, ever!  (or at least, the most thorough.) Continue reading

Mission: Procrastination

It’s 2 p.m.  Been up since 7:30 a.m.  Wow – that’s a lot of awake-hours already.  What have I accomplished today?

Should first temper rising guilt and anxiety due to suspicion that I have not been as productive as I could have been by reducing number of Awake-hours by number of Not-Writing-But-Doing-Other-Necessary-Essential-Tasks-Of-Daily-Living-hours:

Total Awake-hours = 6.5

Breakdown of Total NWBDONETODL-hours =

(Drank 3 cups of coffee to wake up while watching a re-run of Jersey Shore –> 0.75 hours (did not watch the full episode cuz had seen it before and already knew the ending))

+ (Took dogs out –> 0.25 hours)

+ (Fed dogs –> 0.03 hours)

+ (Calculated the decimal portion of an hour for the 2 minutes it took me to feed the dogs –> 0.03 hours)

+ (Caught up with friend on IM –> 1.0 hours (mostly talked about various revenge scenes for men who had scorned us in the past, but part of discussion was about book project, so only fair to deduct that portion from this total and add it to the productive-time total) –> 0.75 hours)

+ (Finished episode of Jersey Shore, as it was a good one and I needed a chuckle to ease bitterness roused by discussion about bad boyfriends who deserved being revenged-upon –> 0.25 hours)

+ (Sat down to write.  In need of inspiration, looked outside window.  Trusty writer‘s manual says: “Nature = Inspiration.”  Noticed it was snowing.  Checked forecast to see if there will be 2 or more inches of snow, in which case I’d need to move my car to another street.  Weatherman on local news channel said “1-2 inches of snow accumulation.”  Which one will it be, weatherman??  ONE or TWO?  Do i need to move my car or not?   Just tell me and stop with your coy estimation game!  Mentally added local news weatherman to list of people to portray in unflattering parody in book.  Mental note reminded me that I should be writing my book.  Sat down to write, but then heard what sounded like snow plows outside and got paranoid.  Ran outside to see if car was still in its spot, fearing it had been towed, and prepared to throw self in tow truck’s path to prevent $250 tow fee.  Car still there – phew!  Ran back inside.  But now cold, and bottom of pants are wet.  Changed pants.  Probably shouldn’t be in my pajamas at 2 p.m. anyway, but isn’t that supposed to be one of the great perks of being a writer?  Sneezed twice in a row.  Will probably catch pneumonia now.  Mentally added local news weatherman to list of men to victimize in scorned-woman-revenge scene for forcing me to wear day clothes despite my writer’s-right to wear p.j.’s while I work, not to mention causing my imminent death due to pneumonia –> 0.5 hours)

+ (Searched various job sites for jobs to apply to in case this writing thing doesn’t work out –> 1.5 hours) Continue reading